Icestar and Gatapollo's Adventure
by Warrior Goddess of Insanity
Summary: This is a story about some made up characters (Sailor Scouts based on me and my friends) who live on the opposite end of the galaxy from sailor moon and her friends. Stupid Humor
1. Bio's

These are the bios and histories of all the main characters in the story. This will probably keep you from getting to confused.

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Nakago: She's the sailor scout known as Sailor Icestar. She was born on a planet who's name she can't remember, considering she's over 3 billion years old that's no surprise. Her planet was destroyed a few years after her birth, but instead of dying with her planet she became the guardian of a frozen star. A black hole had orbited the star for eons, draining energy from the star until it became a perfect crystal. Then some mysterious being came along and took the black hole and left the crystal where Icestar found it.

After she had been guardian of Icestar for a millennium or two she ran into Sailor Pluto. The two fell madly in love and worked together for a billion years. But Sailor Pluto was called back into the service of Queen Selenity, and the two had to part ways. Pluto tried to get Icestar to go with her but Icestar isn't comfortable with following rules so she stays at her end of the galaxy, where you rule by fear and lies.

Somewhere around here Nakago was committed to an insane asylum. When she came out she said, and I quote, "That was more fun than going to Disney Land!" 10 of the 23 physciatrist that worked with her had to be sent to mental rehabilitation. After that escapade Nakago ended up being a bounty hunter and a smuggler for many years before she met Sailor Gatapollo and they joined together to save their corner of the galaxy.

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Gabbi: She's the sailor scout known as Sailor Gatapollo. She wasn't well known until she met up with Nakago, and then she became well known for her lack of mercy towards criminals. Gabbi is only 1000 years old but she commands as much as respect as Nakago.

After she saved Nakago from a giant bunny (don't ask -.-) Nakago decided to repay her by becoming her permanent house guest. Gabbi is much calmer than Nakago, though Nakago can get her to loosen up once a while. Gabbi is also the leader of the group. While Icestar may have more power she doesn't use it that well. Nakago is more interested in the process, where Gabbi is more interested in the results.

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Bob: He's the sailor scout known as Sailor Porcupine or Tuxedo Porcupine. Bob has the unusual ability to switch sexes when he transforms. Nakago's theory is that he was originally a women but an evil sorceress, jealous of her good look, turned Bob into a guy so she wouldn't have any competition. Of course that theory is wrong, or is it (Mwahahahahaha). Anyways, Bob was born on the same planet as Icestar but he won't tell her what the name is because he's mean and vindictive. He's sailor porcupine because of his hair, it's spiked and sorta looks like quills.

Julian: He was once the unfortunate smuggling buddy of Nakago's. Julian is from a race of immortals who, thanks to Nakago, lost their immortality. Julian worked with Nakago for a decade before she corrupted him enough that he was sent to an insane asylum for 5 years. 

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Roxy: She's a living ship that fell in love with Julian. The two would get married except for it's against the law marry a machine (so unfair).

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That's about it, I'll write more as it becomes important. 


	2. The Adventure Begins

I don't own sailor moon blah blah blah... The characters mentoined are mostly mine so don't use them in your stories without my permission. Arigato! Enjoy!!

Author note: The paragraphs like_ this _right after Part ? are the narater.

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Deep in space, silent, except for the cry of one lone girl.

"Ahhhhhhhh! Help me Gabbi!"

"You're mine once and for all! Fwa Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha"

"Noooooooo heeelp meeeeee!"

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The Adventure Begins

Part 1

_Ah. Once again we're back in our heroes' happy asteroid belt. Gabbi has just been awakened by the all too familiar sound of Nakago singing the theme song at the top of her lungs._

"Fly me to the moon..."

"Yeah I'll fly you to the moon. Nakago what the hell are you doing, waking me up in the middle of the night to your horrible voice"

"Oh. Hi Gatcat I just came to say good night 'cause I forgot..." said Nakago smiling.

"Is that it!" Gabbi yelled, getting _very_ impatient.

"Nope. I finally figured out that joke you told me last week. Remember why did the cat cross the asteroid belt, to keep from being squished." Said Nakago roaring with laughter.

"That's it! I can't believe you woke me up for that!" Yelled Gabbi exploding with anger.

"No that's not all," said Nakago, happy as a goose. "Your sisters been kidnapped"

"_WHAT!_"

Nakago then proceeded to knock Gabbi unconscious with a blender.

Part II

_Gabbi has final woken up from her not-so-natural nap. She heads downstairs to where Nakago is drooling over a picture of her fantasy boy friend, Heero Yuy._

Gabbi enters the room and hits Nakago on the head.

"Good afternoon Gabbi," Nakago says as she reaches up and scratches the lump on her head, " sleep well?"

"Considering you hit me on the head with an appliance, NO!" Said Gabbi _really_ pisted.

"Well I couldn't let you miss any beauty sleep just because your sisters been kidnapped." Said Nakago calmly.

"Well, we must go after her, _Immediately_." Gabbi said, Once again in control of her emotions.

"Yes of course, but first..." Nakago pauses dramatically," Tea Time!"

"Oh how forgetful of me" muttered Gabbi. "We can't leave before we have our afternoon cup of tea."

"Would you like one lump or two" asked Nakago? She took down the tea set and a mallet (?). 

"One" replied Gabbi, neatly folding her napkin on her lap.

"Okay" said Nakago picking up the mallet. She proceeds to hit Gabbi on the head.

"Ow! Why did you hit me on my head" yells Gabbi rubbing her lump?

"Why dearie, you asked for a lump" said Nakago putting away the mallet.

"I thought you meant sugar" complained Gabbi starting to get annoyed.

"Why would I talk about sugar" asked Nakago, a blank look on her face? 

"Well its teatime, you know."

"Oh how forgetful of me. Green Tea or Lipton?"

"Lipton."

"Here you go." Says Nakago in a fake English accent.

"Why thank you." Gabbi gracefully takes the cup from Nakago.

"You're welcome."

Gabbi and Nakago finish their teatime in silence. They finish their tea and put the stuff back in their places.

"Now that that's over let's search for my sister. Agreed?" Gabbi says standing up from the table.

"Agreed." Yells Nakago as she trips on the edge of the carpet.

"After you." Says Gabbi, ignoring Nakago's clumsiness and making a graceful gesture.

"No. After you." Says Nakago trying to copy the gesture, but failing miserably.

"Let us go hand in hand." Says Gabbi, ignoring Nakago's clumsiness, _again._

"Agreed." Said both Gabbi and Nakago.

Part III

_Now our super hero's are back in their luxury living room_

"Now we must search for my sister" Said Gabbi.

"Yes of course. Now where's the most likely place that she would have been taken?" Said Nakago sitting down in her plush purple chair. Nakago reaches into her pocket, pulls out a bubble pipe, and proceeds to smoke it as Gabbi paces around the room.

"Why" says Gabbi as she stops pacing, "I believe Evilly Pointed Planet!"

"So she wouldn't be there." Replied Nakago imitating Sherlock Homes and puffing her bubble pipe.

"Yes. Oh! I know she could be on Upside Down World."

"Nope."

"Ring-a-Ding"

"Nay"

"Hape Port"

"No-siree"

4 hours later the room is very full of bubbles at this point. There is a clear space only around the area Gabbi is pacing.

"Mars"

"Inky winky zip nadda"

"Jupiter"

"Not at all"

"I know this is wrong but um... Earth."

"Correct"

"Well then maybe..." said Gabbi, Nakago's answer not sinking in yet. "W-What!"

"Well it's the least obvious place and it has 10 senshi. It's the worst possible place to hide your sister, so that's where the bad guy would have taken her." Nakago puts away her pipe and begins to pop the bubbles.

"Well hurry up, let us go."

"Okay." Shouts Nakago, popping one more bubble before jumping up and flashing a "V" to no one in particular.

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Our hero's have just found out where Gabbi's little sister is being held, on the backwater planet Earth. They've had their afternoon tea and they're ready to get going. Now, how are they going to get there?

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Did yay, like that? I'll be posting chapter 2 soon!!


	3. How to Hitch Hike

You know the gist... I don't own Sailor Moon or Heero Yuy.

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How to Hitch Hike

Part I

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Well, we're once again back in our heroes' living room. Gabbi is sitting in a straight back chair while Nakago bounces of the walls, literally.

"Yippee!" Yelled Nakago, "I've always wanted to go to Earth."

"Calm down" ordered Gabbi impatiently, "First we have to find someone to take us to earth."

"Oh don't worry I have a friend who owes me a debt. Be back in a flash" Nakago then blinks out, off to find her friend.

"I've got a bad feeling about this friend of hers." Muttered Gabbi shaking her head. She walks to the living room to read till Nakago returns.

Part II

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Nakago left Gabbi at home with a good book when she blinked out. Nakago has arrived in the cockpit of her old smuggling/bounty hunter partner. At the moment she's trying to get him to do her a favor since he really doesn't owe her a debt.

"It'll be just like old times." Wailed Nakago to her friend who owed her a 'debt'.

"That's what I was afraid of." Said Julian.

"Oh come on!" She begged.

"No." yelled Julian.

"Pretty please with ice cream and sugar on top." Begged Nakago

"Absolutely, Positively, No! I had to go to rehab for 5 months after spending that horrid decade with you!" Shouted Julian

"Oh fine. I'll just go tell Gatapollo that your not going to give us a lift" said Nakago sighing, "She was really looking forward to it."

"Did you say G-Gatapollo" asked Julian stammering with fear?

"Yes. Why?" Asks Nakago, assuming an innocent expression.

"I'll take you and Gatapollo wherever you want, just don't bring Sailor Gatapollo's wrath down upon my head." Cried Julian throwing himself at Nakago's feet.

"Oh thank you so much Julian, you won't regret this," said Nakago extremely happy. "Fly your ship on over to Gatapollo asteroid belt. I'll meet you there." 

Nakago blinked out.

Part III

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Gabbi is sitting in her uncomfortable looking chair and reading War and Peace, the boring book about nothing, waiting for Nakago to return.

"Gabbi, guess what!" Cried Icestar popping in right behind Gabbi.

"You found your pet lizard, Fluffy." Says Gabbi sarcastically; she doesn't even blink since she's so used to Nakago's comings and goings.

"No." says Nakago getting all sad, "Fluffy's gone forever to reptile heaven, where it is always sunny and there's always plenty of cute bunny's to eat" she pauses and then continues on a happier note "I've got us a ship!"

"That's great. When will it be here?" Asks Gabbi. Setting down her book.

The whine of an engine and a loud thump answer Gabbi's question.

They run outside to see Julian's ship sitting in the front yard. Julian emerges from the ship through the top hatch and performs a sweeping bow (aimed towards Gabbi).

"It twould be an honor to conduct you two_ beautiful_ ladies to your destination" Julian says to Gabbi in an old English accent.

"Why thank you. We're sure to enjoy our trip with such fine a pilot." Responds Gabbi politely.

"Drop the fake accent Julian. It don't suite you." Complains Nakago pouting.

"Well where are you two headin" pries Julian, without the accent?

"We're goin to Earth," Nakago says, happy again.

"_WHAT!!_ That's a four-month trip."

Part IV

_Poor, Julian four months with Nakago, the poor boys gonna hafta go to rehab again._

"Wow, you really have a fast ship if you can make it to Earth in four months" says Gabbi impressed.

Julian's floored he didn't expect this "I-I thought you we're just going to ask me to take you to paradise or Isle Planet not half way across the universe."

"Well you said you'd take us so you're taking us." Says Nakago in a no nonsense tone. She turns and go's to start packing and putting things on board the ship.

Gabbi and Julian stand off to the side. Gabbi supervising Nakago, and Julian talking to himself.

"Oh no! Four months with Nakago, I'll... I'll go mental. Ohh why me... Why, Why me...

"Julian" says Gabbi turning to him "we're ready to go."

"Mmm, that quickly" says Julian.

Gabbi shrugs "Nakago has a knack for packing quickly."

Julian smiles remembering the day Nakago loaded their cargo in less than 30 seconds, a universal record. He turns to Gabbi "After you lady Gatapollo."

Gabbi nods as she passes him; she stops "Since we're going to be together for a while you might as well call me Gabbi" she then jumps onto the ship and hops through the hatch.

"What about me Julian?" Asks Nakago appearing behind him.

Julian turns to her an annoyed look on his face "What about you."

"Aren't you going to be polite to me too" asked Nakago with a dejected look on her face?

"No!"

"Why not?"

"Because you're annoying and stupid."

"Hurry up Nakago and Captain Julian" calls Gabbi from somewhere in the ship.

"Be there in a sec." yell both Julian and Nakago.

"Oh god. I'm not going to survive this" moans Julian.

"Yep, you're not" calls Nakago from the top of the ship.

"Akkk" and he falls down on his face.

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Nakago and Julian are once again together and embarking on a new adventure. Can Julian survive four months with Nakago? Can Gabbi? Can Nakago_?_

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Watcha think I'll be putting the third up soon!!! Please review!!


	4. To Quill or not to Quill

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To Quill or not to Quill

Part I

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Its been a couple days since Julian, Nakago, and Gabbi started their journey to Earth. Roxy, Julian's ship, doesn't have enough provisions to last a four month trip. So Roxy has located the nearest planet and is heading towards it.

"So Julian what planet are we near" asked Nakago slipping into the copilot seat.

"We're near the Weirdly Quilled Planet" said Julian checking the navicomputer "Roxy how are supplies."

"They're really low Julian,"replied Roxy.

"Like, less than normal," asked Julian.

"You could say that," Roxy then began to hum the theme song.

Julian slaps his head in exasperation. "Roxy, you've been around Nakago to long."

"To true" responded Roxy in a happy voice.

"Ahh" yelled Julian "I'm going to go insane."

Part II

Roxy descends through the atmosphere. Once inside Roxy dodges like mad to avoid the many quills sticking from the planets surface. Roxy continues to fly until she arrived at a valley full of vegetation and space ship fuel. She lands on an outcropping off rock.

Part III

Gabbi enters the cockpit to see where the landed. "Where are we?"

"Weirdly Quilled Planet" Nakago perkily replied.

"My arch nemesis Sailor Porcupine lives here" said Gabbi calmly.

"Cool!" shouted Nakago "What she do to pist you off?"

"She blew up my home planet" said Gabbi sitting in the passenger seat.

"Oh that's horrible" cried Nakago tears welling in her eyes. "Do you want us to skip over this planet."

"No" replied Gabbi "We need to get supplies and if Sailor Porcupine drops by I'll settle the score.

"Nakago you will patrol and make sure Porcupine doesn't sabotage our ship. Julian and I will get the supplies needed." Gabbi stood up and exited the cockpit; she leans back around the corner and looks at her insane partner. "And Nakago, don't talk to strangers."

Part IV

Later outside the ship. 

Nakago is absent mindedly hums "Fly Me to the Moon" as she patrols the perimeter of the valley.

All of the sudden a quill fly's through the air to crash in the ground in front of her. A shadowy figure jumps down from a short quill.

"I am Tuxedo Porcupine!" Yells the mystery man, "Answer my question and I'll spare your life. What is a protractor?!"

"Umm... It's when people vote yes on tractor," Nakago answers praying that's the correct answer.

"Correct!" Shouts Tuxedo Porcupine, "Have you come to take me away from this confounded planet?"

"Well, are you Sailor Porcupine" asks Nakago remembering why she was out patrolling?

"Nope as I said, I'm Tuxedo Porcupine," he said smiling; "Sailor Porcupine is trying to find a way onto your ship."

"Oh, I must get back to the ship and warn Gabbi" Nakago turns back towards the ship, " Come on Tuxedo you can guard the ship when I go to tell Gabbi that Sailor Porcupine is trying to get on our ship."

"Sure. So, where are you going," asks Porcupine detransforming into black shoes, black corduroys, a black ribbed shirt, and a 'Property of Jesus' jacket (poor Jesus).

"Oh we're heading to earth," said Nakago jogging back to the ship.

"Why are you going there," asks Tuxedo jogging beside Nakago. 

"Gabbi's little sister was kidnapped and taken to Earth," they jog in silence for a few minutes. "By the way, my name's Nakago, what's yours."

"My names Jdfansdruqiuhwbobfrsugjhtsklfihtowp but just call me Bob."

Part V

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They arrive at the ship and go in. Julian and Gabbi aren't back yet.

"Hmmm... Julian and Gabbi aren't back yet," says Nakago looking around ("_I just said that"_). "Oh, I know, if you hide in the closet you'll be able to pull of a sneak attack if Sailor Porcupine comes on board. You'll stay in the closet till we take off then when we're an hour or two away from your planet I'll tell Gabbi your on board. Then she'll have to let you stay." Nakago said all this in one breath and was blue afterwards. (_I guess she didn't realize she forgot to breath._)

"Is that okay with you Bob." asked Nakago, after she remembered to breath again.

"Sure no problem, I'll just wait in the closet 'till you tell me I can come out." said Bob going over to the closet and entering it. 

"Okay, I'll be back in a while," Nakago then left the ship to find Gabbi.

Part VI

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Julian and Nakago have just finished gathering supplies and are ready to begin to transport them back to the ship.

"Now let's take the stuff that will spoil the quickest back to the ship. Julian grab those two boxes and head back to the ship," Gabbi directed Julian and he began to take the stuff back to the ship. Gabbi, of course, just walks next to him and watches because she won't stoop as low as doing manual labor.

"Gabbi, Gabbi, Gabbi!" Nakago runs into the clearing and collapses on the ground panting for breath.

"What is it Nakago, what's wrong" Gabbi comes to kneel beside Nakago.

"I... I-I can't remember." she collapsed in a fit of laughter. "I'm sorry but it's just so funny I ran here all the way from the ship to tell you something and now I can't remember."

"Your out of breath and you just ran here from the ship," Gabbi looks at the ship which she decided couldn't have been more than 12 yards away.

"Yay, it took me forever. For a while I didn't think I would make it." Nakago said getting to her feet, "would you like me to take these boxes to the ship?" She motioned to the boxes lying around. Nakago didn't wait for an answer she just picked up all the boxes and blinked out.

Gabbi sighed and started to walk back to the ship, still trying to figure out Nakago's stranger-than-usual behavior.

Part VII

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Our heroes, the captain, and Bob have final left Weirdly Quilled Planet. Nakago is planning on telling Gabbi that there's a stow away on board.

"Umm... Gabbi I have something to show you" said Nakago happily leaving the cockpit.

Gabbi got up and followed her to the closet. Gabbi sighed imagining what weird pet Nakago brought home this time.

Nakago smiled and threw open the door, "Taa Daa!"

"You!" shouted Gabbi pointing at Bob.

"You!" shouted Bob pointing at Gabbi.

"Us!" shouted Nakago grabbing Gabbi and Bob in a bear hug.

"Uhh let go of me you idiot!" Bob said turning into a snake and biting Nakago's wrist.

"I second that!" shouted Gabbi.

"I third that!" laughed Nakago.

"Nakago you idiot!" yelled Bob, still in his snake form.

"How did you do that?" gapped Nakago. 

"He can turn into snakes, that's his power," said Gabbi "How did you get on my ship anyway?!"

"Put me down woman!" yelled Bob struggling.

"No!" Nakago screamed, still laughing.

"Ahhhh! Not another one!" Julian exclaimed while watching Bob get down and change back into his human form.

Oh, Nakago must be so happy. She has a new friend to annoy. Where does Gabbi know Bob from? Where does Bob know Gabbi from? Will there ever be peace and quiet on Roxy's again? These question's and more are answered on the next chapter of **The Adventures of Icestar & Gatapollo.**

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I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do for the next chapter so it might take me a while to get it up. ^-^


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